If you don’t have something nice to say….

If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  How many of us were raised with those words of wisdom?  Normally, it was during our formative years where we were learning to interact with other kids, as well as respecting our elders.  If we followed this rule it kept us from getting grounded at home or sent to detention at school.  Often I found the very people touting this rule to be hypocritical because I would hear them gossip, complain and say horrible things about other people.  It became confusing because it seemed like this was only something for those under a certain age to conform too and once you became an adult it was open season on negativity.  And when I asked for clarification of what I believed to be a double standard, the typical responses were either: Do as I say not as I do or Because I said so.  Neither of which I felt offered validation, but as a child what can you do?  As I continued to grow up, I noticed that not only were people saying “not nice” things being about others and situations, but hurtful comments about how they viewed themselves.  These individuals didn’t seem to be living very happy or fulfilling lives, and the solution, in my young mind, was simple.  Change the way you talk.

I wish I could say that I held onto my young understanding that when we change our thoughts and words to ones of positivity for others and ourselves that we have the power to bring and experience great joy.  Good beyond anything we could imagine shows up in the form of opportunities and people.  Depending on what false truths we were subjected to in our younger lives, determines, as adults, how long it takes to erase these old tapes.  Just like an onion, there are many layers, and often it can take a while to work through the healing and forgiveness.  It’s work.  There’s no doubt about it.  Yet the more you do, the easier and more effortless it becomes.  About six years ago I made the conscious choice to look at the words I was using.  As a writer and speaker, I always understood the power of words.  They can inspire and motivate, as well as hurt and diminish.  Although it was rare that I said anything hurtful to another, I can’t say the same thing about beating up on myself.  It didn’t occur to me that part of living in the flow of love, abundance and prosperity began with how I saw myself.  If I didn’t have anything nice to say about me, why not shut up!

We are living in a time where more and more people are becoming entrepreneurs, small business owners, consultants and freelancers.  There was a time when no one wanted to collaborate out of fear that ideas would be taken or that there wasn’t enough of “something” to be shared or to go around.  The work force doesn’t look or feel the same as it once did, and now we are all seeing more and more collaboration.  But how does this happen?  Think about the type of partner you want to bring into your business world.  You want someone who is aligned with your passions and values.  The same holds true for those who are looking to come together with like-minded individuals.  We want to generate something greater than ourselves and with this powerful affirmation comes the need for positive thoughts, words and actions.  Can you imagine asking someone to work on a project with you when all you hear is complaints or gossip?  Would you ask someone to share in the creation of your divine idea or dream when they don’t see and know the uniqueness and gifts they have that will make a difference?

As you look to bring about grand transformations in your life, be mindful of the words you use when describing yourself, situations and others.  Just say no to gossip and complaining.  Yes, this might result in the loss of some relationships, but if they are built on words that bring anything short of dynamic experiences than know that you deserve better.  Release all words of negativity about yourself and others and use your voice to affirm positivity, share kindness and create a world filled with limitless possibilities.

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  1. Debbie’s avatar

    good words for all to live by!:)

  2. Darlene’s avatar

    WELL SAID…as usual! You bring a smile to my face!!


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